＂Now， let's move on to Part 2. I'm going to give you a topic， and I'd like you to talk about it for one to two minutes. Before you talk， you'll have one year... sorry， one minute to think about what you're going to say. You can make some notes if you wish.＂考官用手擦了擦額頭上急出來的冷汗，指了指卡片上的題目。但其實江心影根本沒發現他把一分鐘說成了一年，只是專心看題。

Describe a time when you had to solve a very difficult problem. You should say:

What the problem was

How you tried to solve it

Who helped you

And explain how you felt after the problem was solved.

考官在江心影看題的時候，默默的決定工作結束以後要在群裡把今天這場考試分享給大家。還在考慮要說得多細節呢，江心影就指著考題笑了一下：“want to konw my all project？ NO DOOR！”

考官沒聽懂那句“NO DOOR”，只在心底默默記了一筆，打定主意下班後非得翻遍網路查個水落石出不可。然後，江心影已經開了口，磕磕絆絆，像一臺年久失修的發動機，每一句話都帶著艱澀的、令人揪心的頓挫。

“Very difficult? Once， I tried to lead a died person reappear in front of her ex-boyfriend.”

“First， I buy a plane ticket for her， but the plane returned on half way！ Can you believe it?”

“She， the police said， there is drug in her body！ They take her into a room， and check， and told her， this is a mistake.”

“Finally we found， the this these， reason， cause， her current boyfriend！ Do you understand what I say? Her boyfriend put a tracker on her！ He don’t let her go. So he say she bring drug.”

“Then I throw the tracker， buy new ticket， send her to her ex-boyfriend’s house. After that， everything is good. But when she into the house， she found that the ex-boyfriend already had a new girlfriend. She don’t want to Po Huai Bie Ren Gan Qing， so she left.”

“Along this entire journey， we thank her current boyfriend for providing an unlimited black card.”

“Yes， this problem is not be solved because she did not see her ex-boyfriend. Therefore， we find the extremely difficult question simply cannot be solved.”

“Q.E.D.”

考官瞠目結舌，手裡那支筆懸在評分表上方，像一隻迷失了方向的飛鳥，遲遲落不下去。他當了這麼多年口語考官，真的很多年了，他自認什麼亂七八糟的都聽過。可眼前這位，用一口破碎到近乎行為藝術的英語，給他講述了一個死人復活、飛機折返、栽贓藏毒、定位追蹤、無限額黑卡、前男友另結新歡的連環局。每一個句子都像一顆偏離彈道的炮彈，他不知道下一顆會炸在哪個意想不到的角落。

更讓他後背發涼的是那句“Q.E.D.”。

論證完畢。

她在給自己的荒誕故事貼上一個數學證明的封條，彷彿這一切不是一場雞飛狗跳的鬧劇，而是一道被她用邏輯推演到盡頭的、無懈可擊的方程式。

他張了張嘴，想說點什麼，可那些慣常的套話——“Thank you”或者“That‘s an interesting experience”——在此刻顯得蒼白得近乎可笑。他最終只擠出一句嗓音發乾的、連自己都覺得像夢囈的回應：“That is... a remarkably... circuitous journey.”

然後換來江心影一句：“I don't understand what you say.”

考官感覺自己的靈魂彷彿已經飄出了考場。他的內心此刻已經一片荒蕪。他就像一個在暴風雨裡被巨浪拍打了三個小時的木筏，已經徹底失去了方向感。他那些同事的轉述太輕描淡寫了，今日一見，他才知道同事們為什麼這麼盼望她來考試，簡直，太奇葩了啊！

更可怕的是，他的職業病還在不可抑制地發作。他的大腦像一臺失控的機器，自動開始給江心影剛才那段驚心動魄的 Part 2 陳述進行高光和低谷的覆盤。